Committing might seem like the best thing to do when you’ve met someone amazing, but the truth is that it takes years to really get to know someone.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get into a relationship until you’ve spent years getting to know a person, though. What it does mean is that you should really take the time to sift through the facts you have on hand about you, your potential partner, and your compatibility.
Here are 15 questions to ask yourself to ensure that your next relationship is the happiest, healthiest one yet.
1. Am I ready?
Relationships realy take time and energy. That's why you should make sure your current lifestyle is ready for the commitment. If you have a new job, if you’re in pursuit of a dream, or if you are endearing a family emergency, it might not be best to throw another human being into the mix. Wait until the storm has passed before inviting another ship into the water with you.
2. What did not work in past relationships?
Perhaps you sacrificed too much for your last partner. Perhaps it lacked trust or honesty. Maybe your relationship didn’t work because of the distance. Make a list of all the things that went wrong in your prior relationships and find solutions.
3. What kind of relationship am I looking for?
In other words, how serious do you want it to be? This is important, not only for your own sake, but for the sake of your new, potential partner. Are you looking for a fun fling? Or are you ready to settle down? Be sure to discuss your answer with them before the two of you get in too deep. Avoid wasting time by making sure you’re on the same page.
4. Do I love myself?
This is the biggest cliché in the book. You cannot love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I personally think you can love someone else even if you don’t love yourself; however, problems will still exist. If you don’t feel deserving of love, you might doubt or deny the love you receive from someone else, which can be extremely frustrating for them.
5. How can this person make my life better?
Your partner should bring out the best in you. If they don’t make you stronger, happier, and more confident, then they may not be right for you. Ask yourself if the person you’re dating enhances your life. If the answer is no, move on!
6. How can I make my partner’s life better?
When you focus on giving, you’ll always feel happy. By making your partner’s life better, the relationship becomes a very positive experience for the both of you.
Dating should be about adding value to each other’s life and well-being.
The reason why most people don’t get what they want is because that’s what they focus on. Don’t get caught up in “fixing” the relationship. Instead, think of ways to become a better person for your partner.
7. Would I be proud to introduce this person as my partner?
When you get into a new relationship, eventually, you’ll have to introduce them to everyone in your life. Are you excited about this? If the answer is no, I’d run.
8. If And When I'll Be Able to Compromise?
Go into a relationship knowing your deal breakers, as well as your boundaries. But remember — your partner is going to be doing the same thing. So, while you shouldn't ever budge on things that are important to you, it may be necessary to compromise. "Are you willing to compromise? Can you come to some sort of agreement or understanding? If you cannot give in or compromise from time to time, you may not be ready for a commitment," says Davida Rappaport.
9. Do they share my morals?
How do they treat other people in their life? How do they look at the world? What are they passionate about? And if you’re looking to settle down with this person: What will they teach their children? Is it the same thing you would want your own children to learn?
10. Am I really interested in this person?
I, for one, have made the mistake of dating someone just because I was bored and confused and blinded to the fact that they were completely wrong for me. They were great; they just weren’t great for me. I was more interested in telling them about myself, than learning about them.
11. What are My Expectations from this Relationship?
Do me a quick favour. Think about the last argument you were involved with. I bet you anything it started off with statements that sounded like these:
“But I thought that …” “I just assumed if…” “I didn’t know that…”
Never make the mistake of assuming what your partner thinks. If you’re not sure, it’s really as simple as asking. Be proactive about your happiness by communicating your needs and wants. Allow the other person to do the same as well.
12. Do I even want to be in a relationship?
If you’ve been in lots of relationships, if you’ve recently gotten out of a draining one, or if you just love being single, maybe you should be. And there’s nothing wrong with that.